And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
