I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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