hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
