just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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