Redeem this text for a blowjob
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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