We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
