As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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