I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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