Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
