he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
