so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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