so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
