Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
