Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
