He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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