Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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