I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
