Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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