I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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