you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
