Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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