Welp...herpes.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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