How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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