I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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