this boner is exhausting
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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