Sponge bath it is.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
