I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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