Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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