I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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