this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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