you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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