Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
