I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
