He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
