I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
