When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
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Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
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Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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