Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
