I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize