My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
