The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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