Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
