I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
