FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
