You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
