Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
