the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Boobs are out for the taking
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
