if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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