She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Still dying that you shit outside
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
