this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
