We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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