Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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