I can text with my tongue
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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