just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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