You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
