I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He did a backflip because drugs
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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