hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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