I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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