i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
