So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize