Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
