Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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